3. un-connect

Facebook, twitter, instagram, blogger, pinterest, klout. Those are the social media outlets that I've been intimately involved in currently. That's a lot. And when I say intimately, I unfortunately mean obsessively. I don't know if I could count the number of times I check facebook, instagram,  and twitter in a day between my desktop and my phone. I'm constantly answering blogger emails, and pinterest kills anytime that might be left. Adding klout to the mix has been fun: oh, a way to measure how effective I am on the internet? Yes please! Sometimes I don't know how J stood it, my face constantly covered by my phone. And I'm missing out on real life. I know I am. It might feel like I'm just keeping up with people & life, but in reality mine is whizzing by me. The thing about all of these outlets is that, used healthily, they're great additions to a social butterfly like myself's life. Facebook to keep me up with the friends I probably would be out of touch with by now, twitter keeps me in touch with the people I'm closely doing life with. Instagram is a fun way to see peoples' lives through pictures, blogger allows me to share my heart, and pinterest makes me feel more creative than I ever have. Klout's just an ego boost, let's be real. But I needed to learn how to use them healthily. I've contemplated deactivating my facebook, but I know I'd be back in a couple of days {I know because I've tried & failed}.

So what does healthy look like? Like most things, I think it starts with a heart change. For starters, to stop using social media as a form of constant validation through comments, likes, responses, retweets, etc. I think that's probably the most unhealthy effect of being too plugged in, it drives my people pleasing personality type into over-drive and out of control. I spend far too much time trying to figure out if I'm witty enough and searching for validation in the response of others. It's an easy target for Satan to use to draw me away from finding my complete worth in the Savior, and looking around me for that validation. I know that probably sounds a little extreme to some of you, but if you really think about it, why do we post facebook statuses and twitter updates and pictures? Usually, so that people will respond, right? It's making me miss out on life. On precious time with J. On being a part of what's happening around me, as I have my eyes glued to my phone's screen. I'm so deeply {yet still distantly} involved in everyone else's life that I forget to take part in mine.

 I've majorly cut back. I no longer use twitter {but can't bring myself to delete my account. what if I have something super epic to share?!}, and am keeping facebook only to share blog updates, because it seems to be where the most people find it. And you know what, it's fantastic. It doesn't feel forced like previous attempts at simplicity. I don't find I have any real desire to check up on social media anymore. Come to find out, un-connecting yourself from being deeply involved in everyone else's lives and updates gives you a second to breathe and be a part of yours. I've read four books already this year. J and I have had some really great, uninterrupted conversations, and I honestly feel a little bit more human now. A little less nosy, and-if we're being real honest here-far less offended on a regular basis. It hasn't been as easy as expected, being that deep in a habit makes it even more difficult to break. But it's worth it.

Resolution #3: big cutbacks on social media

What about you? Does this strike a chord of truth in your life?

resolution 1: write a book
resolution 2: start a revolution


Breanna said...

This was a great post:)
Definitely a true reality to most people these days!

I'd say I've done a lot of social media cutbacks lately :) It feels great and allows for more me time!

ashley hawthorne said...

im so glad to see where you are landing with this after all the many times we have had talks about it! good for you, my friend. it is never a bad idea to focus on REAL life rather than digital life :) love you.

Carmen Myer said...

Great resolution! I definitely need to follow your example and cut back from Facebook and unfortunately Pinterest too.

Jessica said...

it's so true!! i think what i mainly want to do right now is cut back how much i'm on it when i'm with people or in the evenings at home. it's not fair to be unavailable to those i'm spending time with because i've been the ignored one before and it is rude... and i don't want to be that person! [rant over].

Lauren Smith said...

This is a great goal. I think we can all get a little too caught up in the online lifestyle. I too justify every minute I spend on there with "well, I'm connecting with past friends..." but every once in a while the laptop just needs to close.

Also, your blog is great. Keep it up!


Shane said...

Good for you! I think we all need to dedicate a week off from our connections... easier said than done!

Anonymous said...

You know ever since they blocked Facebook at work, I can count on one hand the number of times in a day or week I check it now. I swear, why did I feel like I needed to know every aspect of little Suzie Jones potty training? I have a love hate relationship with Twitter.

Erin said...

just found your blog, and you made me smile :) you are so down to earth and adorable. look forward to reading more!

now following.