2. start a revoultion

As women in today's society {and yes, men too}, we're taught pretty early in life to hate our bodies. Not to simply dislike parts of it, or wish to better ourselves, but to hate it. To spend every waking moment wishing we looked a different way and constantly harboring disdain for ourselves that we don't look more tight, more slim, more supermodel . We beat ourselves up over every piece of pizza, every hamburger, every glass of wine, every work out skipped. Some of us go as far as to harm ourselves in the name of being skinny, and therefore, "beautiful". But on the inside, we're ugly, and trapped on a self-made merry-go-round of misery. I don't think I can even begin to delve into where this issue finds its roots. Is it all the media's fault? What part does Satan play in our body image demise? To what degree is it just a well-contained desire to be healthy, and when does it cross over into hate and obsession? There are a lot of questions that go hand-in-hand with this issue, but that's not what I want to talk about.

What I want is a revolution. I'll be real honest, I 100% fall into the category of women previously mentioned. I hate my body on a pretty regular basis. I go to a get-together like I did last night {for the disastrous LSU game that I do not want to talk about} and enjoy eating for about 2.5 seconds. After that it's  "are you really eating this, Blake? You know you skipped your workout to come straight here. And now you're going to load up? You know this is why your'e so huge..." Holy self-destruction, Batman! I look at tall, skinny girls as they walk by and beat myself up, and mourn the fact that it's just not in my 5'2", curvy DNA to ever look like that. I go to the gym and try to distance myself from the girl going full speed on her treadmill and attempt not to focus on the fact that her butt isn't jiggling even a little. And we all do it. To some degree, we pick ourselves apart every day. All we can see when we look in the mirror is our blaring imperfections, the things that need to change. Even the tall, skinny, pretty girls make side comments about their flabby arms or big feet or whatever pretty people complain about...

I want to take ownership of the fact that my identity will never lie in a number on a scale or a pant size or the way that I look. I desperately want to stop hating my body, and myself in the process. I want to stop obsessing over it, to stop letting it ruin my day, my meals, & my life. I want to stop looking to the people around me for some sad validation that "you're not fat! you're beautiful!" I want to enjoy the doughnut my coworker brought to work, and not tell myself I'll have to skip lunch because of it. But more than just stopping the hate, I want to start loving this body I've been blessed with. I want to walk by a mirror as I'm getting dressed and have involuntary "damn girl..."s escape my lips. I want to accept compliments from J for what they are, rather then telling myself that he's just trying to make me feel better. I want to stop comparing myself to other women, and finally, finally be comfortable in my own skin. And it want it to be a revolution. I want women across the world to stop the hate as well. From now on, I will talk to myself as someone I love, and not the enemy.

Resolution #2: start a revolution, stop hating your body.

{resolution 1 here}


Rachel said...

I like that - the bit, 'I will talk to myself as someone I love, and not the enemy.' I have never thought of it like that -- but it is so right...I would never look at others and think about the little things I think about when judging myself...aaah this is all so true and hard and good that you have written it down! I do like this here blog! :)

Nessa @{Casa Braaflat} said...

this sounds about right. everyone has issues with their body not just women, men too. it is something that society teaches us and it's sad. let's just get everyone on board with this!