2/7/12

quit caring

Real talk: it's possible to care too much. I know, because I've perfect the art of it in my 23 years. If "caring" for you equals unnecessary stress, wondering what complete strangers think of you, allowing one person's words to ruin your day, or another's sideways glance to make you question who you are-you care too much. I believe my personal struggle generates from the strong people-pleasing strand in my DNA that also causes me to be a good friend, a faithful girlfriend, and an exceptionally hard worker. But it also makes me a basket case. It causes all the muscles in my neck to spaz out and give me unbearable headaches. It causes me to completely abandon who I truly am for who I think people want me to be. It makes me stare into space and lose touch with reality because I just don't know how to function in this state anymore. Caring too much what people think is a life-ruiner. And the worst part is that it's a life-ruiner that you choose, daily. You wake up in the morning, and even though it may be habit by this point, you decide to be completely consumed all day by what the people around you may or may not think of you. You choose to put out of your mind all the awesome God given truths that bear freedom from that kind of pain and bondage and choose to live this way.

I've always known I tended to kind of care a little more than most people, but I always chalked it up to the fact that I'm just an empathetic individual. I knew I was a sensitive soul, that I deeply cared about everyone and what everyone thought, and I just wanted everyone to be happy and to like me. Last week was a kick in the face with this crap. I learned swiftly and painfully just how much power I'd handed over to people in my life that quite honestly didn't deserve to have it. Because realistically, there should be a handful of people in your life with the power to ruin your day. A handful. My father (pretty much the best analogy maker ever, it's where I learned it) equates it to a dart board. There should only be a few people in your "bulls eye" (for me, my parents, J, and a couple of close girlfriends). Those are the people whose opinions really matter, the ones with the access to your life to speak painful truth when you're not exactly looking the way Jesus does. Those are the people who do life with you, who love you dearly, and whose words are always meant to build you up. Outside of that bulls eye, the level of power should begin to diminish. I read a quote the other day that said "As we grow up, we realize it is less important to have lots of friends, and more important to have real ones." This has never rung more true in my life than it does now.

It takes training, not trying, to learn how to live free of those chains. I literally have started practicing being myself and living my life without being consumed by worry about what the people around me might be thinking (& how self-focused am I that I think everyone has an opinion about me?? geez.) My best friend and I were talking about this last night, and she referred to it as "bouncing your brain". It's a practice that our youth group used to teach the guys about avoiding lust, but I think it's applicable in every struggle of life. You have to bounce off of worry and people-pleasing, and focus it back on Jesus, and that you're pleasing him. There are going to be people who come after you about things in the name of Jesus that don't sound like him. That's why every thing that you do has to be filtered through him and his will for your life, so that when those people come around, the bounce is easy.

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." -Galatians 1:10

BA-BOOM. Is the way you're living your life pleasing to Christ? Then be who he created you be, regardless of what any other person thinks. So yes, I tend to skip a little when I walk and be a little more animated and excited than the average human being. And yep, I blog about things that might make people squirm in their seats a little sometimes. But this is the life Christ has called me to for now. So, if you struggle with allowing the opinions of others to have far too much power in your life, I hope this hits home for you. I hope you can take the words I've shared and spend some time talking to God about them. Because if I want anything, it's freedom for each of you. And sometimes you need a wake-up call to realize how you've been living, you know? I just hope this pushes you to give certain people less power, to really appreciate the people who truly love you, and to bounce your brain off of what every-stinkin-person thinks. 

19 comments:

Carmen Myer said...

You were so right, I totally appreciated this. I think we might be the same person in this aspect. It's always something I've struggled with, and am now working on. Such a wake up call. Once again, you're spot on. Thanks for sharing :)

Stephanie Spencer said...

Hi Blake- I'm so glad you've popped over to Everyday Awe and found it helpful.

Your perspective here is great. It is definitely a journey to let go of people's expectations and desire for approval. It's something I give up, but at some point take back, and then give up again.

The verse from Galatians would be a good one to memorize and repeat every time that happens.

Blessings to you.

Anonymous said...

Marvelous, what a web site it is! This weblog presents helpful information to us, keep it up.


Here is my blog post ... struggle quotes

Anonymous said...

Nice post. I learn something new and challenging
on websites I stumbleupon everyday. It's always exciting to read through articles from other authors and use something from other websites.

Also visit my web page ... depressing quotes

Anonymous said...

This information is worth everyone's attention. When can I find out more?

Take a look at my website letting go quotes

Anonymous said...

Hello! This post couldn't be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my good old room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this article to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!

Take a look at my web page - unusual animals

Anonymous said...

Now I am going to do my breakfast, once having my breakfast coming yet again to read further news.


Feel free to surf to my web-site frustration quotes

Anonymous said...

Hi there to every body, it's my first go to see of this weblog; this webpage includes amazing and really excellent data in favor of visitors.

My website :: self esteem quotes

Anonymous said...

Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I to
find It really useful & it helped me out a lot. I'm hoping to provide something again and aid others such as you aided me.

Take a look at my site; william shakespeare quotes

Anonymous said...

I every time emailed this web site post page to all my associates, for the reason that
if like to read it after that my friends will too.

Feel free to visit my homepage: leonardo da vinci quotes

Anonymous said...

I'm really impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it's rare to see a great blog like
this one nowadays.

Feel free to visit my web site: kahlil gibran quotes

Anonymous said...

Yes! Finally someone writes about credit card wireless.

my web blog: madea quotes

Anonymous said...

No matter if some one searches for his required thing, therefore he/she wishes to be available that in detail, thus that thing is maintained over here.



Stop by my page; Magic Submitter Help

Anonymous said...

If you wish for to get a great deal from this piece of
writing then you have to apply these strategies to your won web site.


Stop by my page total wellness cleanse pdf download

Anonymous said...

Very quickly this site will be famous among all blogging and site-building people, due to it's nice posts

My webpage ... testosterone lawsuits

Anonymous said...

Hi, i think that i saw you visited my blog so i came to “return the favor”.I'm
attempting to find things to enhance my web site!I
suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!

my page; Tantric Massage London (discendodiscimus.com)

Anonymous said...

Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied
on the video to make your point. You obviously know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?



Feel free to surf to my homepage: Asian Massage In London (Marketingpro.Es)

Anonymous said...

Hello, everything is going well here and ofcourse every
one is sharing facts, that's genuinely good, keep up
writing.

Also visit my site; methode lafay Femme

Anonymous said...

electronic cigarette, electronic cigarette, electronic cigarettes, ecigs, e cigarettes, electronic cigarette