New York, New York

I'm a big dreamer. Always have been, just talk to my parents about my childhood for 10 seconds and I'm sure they could spout off plenty of ridiculous things I said.

I have two versions of my "life long dream". The wild one, and the attainable one.
Am I really about to share my dreams on the world wide web? Ah, guess so. Here goes.

New York. Never been, but I want it so bad I can taste it sometimes. And not to make it on Broadway or anything like that, I'm not an idiot, I know I can't sing. I just want to be all up in that hustle and bustle, dog eat dog-ness of it. A writer for SNL. Eventually a cast member? That's the big dream. Not that I think I'm nearly as funny as Gilda Radner or Amy Poehler, but it's just so inspiring to see how these hilarious, witty women have broken into the boys' club that used to control SNL and marked their territory. It makes a whole lot of pride well up inside of me and really makes me want to be a part of it.

I saw the movie Funny Girl for the first time when I was 9, and it changed my life. Untainted then by the actress's political propaganda, I realized that Fannie {good ole' Babs Streisand} was me. I was Fannie Brice. Unrelenting, refusing to be just another pretty face, and funny {try to read that sentence remebering I was 9, so it was innocent confidence, not cockiness}. And Fannie does it, dammit! I mean, her husband goes to jail for embezzlement, and that's not exactly what I've dreamed for myself, but Fannie doesn't bend. And while my dreams of being on stage have long given way to the reality of life, I just know watching that movie as a 9 year old (and now as a 22 year old) brings me back to life everytime. It makes me feel so inspired. I love that woman. So if someone asked me what my big dream is, this would selfishly be it. SNL.

But yeah, that's not really in the cards, and I'm so okay with that. Because my attainable dreams are pretty awesome too...

You know the drill. Wife and mom. But not just any wife and mom. A woman that other wives can walk next to and can seek Godly advice from, and when I speak they can hear wisdom and God's words, not mine. Mentoring girls and walking them through things like the amazing women in my life have walked with me. Raising kids that are on fire for Jesus and know He is the Way and the Truth and the Light. Being the kind of wife who makes her husband's life easier, rather than more difficult. The kind of wife who builds her mate up and is the kind who her children call blessed. I know those dreams are in reach, and one day I'll be able to look around and know I'm living in these things I've dreamed for so long.

A while back I asked my Twitter friends if they could live out some dream they have, and know they wouldn't fail, what would they do? The answers were awesome, here's a few of my favorites:

"Lead Kanye West to Christ."

"Open an orphanage and share Jesus' love with every orphan in the world. Or take care of every orphaned child who has a disability."

"A home with a somewhat revolving door where souls could get care. And selfishly, barefoot Saturdays in our backyard with my mate and wee ones."

"Lead mission trips across the world for a living while being a dedicated wife and raising sweet babies that love Jesus."

"Run an organic baby food company complete with a farm and use profits to feed hungry kids around the world."

I mean...how can you read that and not feel inspired? I read a quote the other day that said "if your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough." Dreams are supposed to be scary. They're supposed to be leaps of faith. It's scary to think about leaving all this and hiking my butt up to New York and trying to make it. So scary, in fact, that I'll never try. And that's okay. It's an equally scary thought that one day I'll be responsible for someone else's well-being, but it's awesome, and I know God'll be right next to me every step of the way.

So I'll ask you the question. If you could live out your biggest dream, and knew you wouldn't fail, what would you do?

This playlist is just where I'm at today. Join me.

No comments: