This one is for my unmarried friends, because if you're married you've probably figured this out already.

TMI moment: I have a healthy sex drive on me. Pretty much always have. The kind that always wanted to push boundaries when in a dating relationship, and a lot of the time did. For a long time the idea of getting married had too much to do with getting to have sex. It wasn't everything, but it was a lot. Here and there people would reiterate that it's not the most important thing in a relationship. And I believed them; it's not the most important thing. But let me tell you, it was up there.

Even when I started dating J, this is the mentality I had. But as I fell more and more in love with my best friend, it was like the cloud of sexuality began to lift. It wasn't all I could see anymore. What I could see was that a life with this man was the best thing I could ever hope for, and that if we didn't ever have sex for the rest of our lives, I'd be perfectly okay with that. That a life with him by my side, having my back, & holding me up, was better than the most rockin sex life anybody could ever have. After we got engaged, we started looking for a quote or a verse that we would stand on as we walked into marriage. Enter John Piper's a Momentary Marriage.
This is the quote we had read during our wedding ceremony. It perfectly speaks our hope and prayer not only for our marriage, but for the current and future marriages of those whose lives we touch. The bolded line is what syncs up perfectly with this post.

“Marriage is not mainly about prospering economically; it is mainly about displaying the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church. Knowing Christ is more important than making a living. Treasuring Christ is more important than bearing children. Being united to Christ by faith is a greater source of material success than perfect sex and double-income prosperity. So it is with marriage. It is a momentary git. It may last a lifetime, or may be snatched away on the honeymoon. Either way, it is short.

It may have many bright days, or it may be covered with clouds. If we make secondary things primary, we will be embittered at the sorrows we must face. But if we set our face to make of marriage mainly what God designed it to be, no sorrows and no calamities can stand in our way. Every one of them will be, not an obstacle to success, but a way to succeed. The beauty of the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church shines brightest when nothing but Christ can sustain it."

So walk away with this: sex is important, but it's not everything. Do I want to pounce on my husband every time he walks in the room? Yes. Is that necessary and healthy? Yes. But more than that I want to spend the rest of my life loving him and learning how to love him better. Serving him, walking beside him, growing together. Our marriage reflecting the Gospel and Christ's selfless love for us is the most important thing about my marriage. It's not the fun trips, it's not the money, it won't be kids, and it isn't sex. It's Jesus. And loving each other the way He love us.

I just wanted to share that. Disregard it, tuck it away, do with it as you will. I just want you to fall in love with your best friend. I want sex to play second fiddle to the amazing, Christ centered relationship you are in. I wanted to be lagniappe. Super awesome lagniappe, but lagniappe.


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