being tender & open is beautiful.

"Being tender and open is beautiful.  As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed.  Too sensitive.  Too mushy.  Too wishy washy. Blah blah.  Don’t let someone steal your tenderness.  Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart.  Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. Whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep…feel it all – look around you- all of this is for you.  Take it and have gratitude.  Give it and feel love."

I've never considered myself a cold or hard person. Actually, it probably would be fair to say I can be overly emotional at times. In the wise words of Kristen Bell, "if I'm not between a 3 and a 7 on the emotional scale, I'm crying". The person I truly am adheres to the above quote daily, which is probably why it's my favorite.Tears tend to be my natural reaction to things, whether it be beauty or pain, happiness or hurt. I am the definition of an empath, and I actually love getting to feel everything. I like to think I've traveled far from the girl with no boundaries at all, and that I live my life in a healthy balance between open & tender, and safe & smart.

But after enough blows to the heart with a metaphorical baseball bat, even the softest person can learn to be hard. Coldness is learned. Detachment is developed. Enough people hurt you, and you learn to answer it with "whatever. it's fine." You get to a point at which you're too tired to fight anymore. You're so beaten down you don't have the energy to feel it all. You know what I mean? Everyone's been right where I'm talking about.

I just have two simple points that I want to get across. 

1. Everyone is fighting a battle of some kind. You have no idea. None. Even if you think you do, you probably don't. Please don't be the metaphorical baseball bat in someone's life. They don't need the help. Attempt to live your life in a way that is filled with grace & understanding. Be a safe place. Don't steal others' tenderness. Don't let your own crap overflow into everyone around you's lives and tarnish them. Learn to process, learn to deal, learn to let people you trust walk through life with you. But don't use your own personal battle to drag everyone down with you.

2. Everyone is fighting a battle of some kind. You have no idea. None. So don't let the fact that they can't control themselves or deal with it healthily change who you are. Don't let them make you cold. Don't let the blows over the head make you stay down. Don't let them make your answers to things become whatever, it's fine. Be strong enough to be tender and open, because it takes a special kind of strength to choose to live that way. Please don't ever stop being affected by the things of this life. It's a beautiful thing. Feel it. Let it in. LIVE, for crying out loud. Don't pass through this life like a robot in armor, unaffected by the beauty of relationships and change and the simple things.

That's all I have to say about that. I think most of us at times adhere to both of those categories of people, the baseball bats & the wounded. I know I do.

Alright. I'm off to cry at another episode of Dawson's Creek.


Casey said...

Ok, I got teary-eyed reading this... I guess I'm that girl too haha. I've missed your blog! Excited to read the ones I've missed!

kelly summers said...

This is so good!! I wish you wrote more posts, but I'm always satisfied, refreshed and encouraged by what you do write.
This describes me, completely. I love watching that video of Kristen Bell because she's just so real about it. She knows she's emotional. She knows she's on national television crying about a sloth, and she totally just knows who she is. I loved it.
Most days I like to think that I haven't let the world strip me of my tender heart (because I'm very emotional, always have been. I've always felt everything so deeply, good and bad), but somedays I see it. I see my reactions as cold and uncaring. I see my words hurt others. I see how I've let the world reshape me, in such a negative way. Thank you so much for this reminder to embrace my emotions and the heart God gave me and just feel.

lily said...

I honestly needed to read this right now. I had just finished writing on my blog about my father verbally abusing me today. I've been so sad and crying all day.
Thanks for reminding me with your lovely post :)

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post. This is so true. :)

Brittni Rawdon said...

Such truth spoken!! Love it! :)

Seoul Sold said...

The earnestness of your writing makes your message hit home and gives it a truth that is undeniable. Thank you for your post and for reminding us to smell the roses!

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