{What I'm doing today vs. what I'd like to be doing}
I'm trying to trick myself today. Into multiple things.
1. That it's cold outside.
2. That I'm not stuck behind a desk.
3. That I won't be stuck behind this desk for 4 more hours today.
4. That I'm not so tired I'm fighting with my eyeballs to make them not roll around in my head.
5. That my heart's not super heavy because I'm feeling a tiny bit abandoned by God {even though my brain knows this is outrageous, I'm trying to get my extra-hormonal emotions to remember it as well.}
How am I achieving this incredible feat?
1. This office is typical at sub 0°, so my little heater and this mug of Lady Grey tea are making the first one relatively easy. Plus it's overcast. Overcast=cold. Right?
2 & 3.The desk bit I'm attempting with a combination of the below playlist, texting my best friend, and mini pep-talks every 15 minutes.
{You can choose to grow where you are, Blake. You get to choose to shine in the darkness and be thankful for this job the keeps a roof over your head and food in your belly. Smile. Fake it till you make it. It's really not that bad, you're just kind of being a brat.}
4. The tiredness is being combated with healthy doses of caffeine and gum.
5. This one's having to put up quite the fight to survive, because I'm coming at it with Hebrews 13:5 "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you'." & doing my best to hold on to that awesome feeling I got last night while worshipping with 100 of my favorite people, shouting out "O This God" & "A Mighty Fortress" {which caused me to burst into tears last night. that song got me through some of the darkest, hardest times in my life, and I couldn't help but be overwhelmed by how thankful I am to be where I am now.}
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We spent the weekend in Gulfport with J's family. Pretty much consisted of stuffing our faces, complaining about how full we were, eating some more, passing out, and lots of snoring {mostly by J}. All that, and loving on this little man, J's cousin. I've always heard people say that spending extended time around kids is the best birth control, but that just really doesn't apply to me. Even when he was throwing himself on the ground screaming or pinching his sister or punching me in the boob, my heart was just full. As it always is when I'm around babes. I mean, really, I'm supposed to sit there on a Saturday morning and watch J read to him and not want kids? Psh. Please.
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