Junk in the Trunk

I am a carbon copy of my mother in almost every single way. Opinionated, passionate, a love for dance, a struggle with anxiety, and curvy.

Curvy. When did that word get the direct connection to fat that it has now? I don't think I'm fat, but growing up in the world of size 0 ballet dancers, I've just never been someone who was very comfortable in my own skin. Always covering and concealing what I could, hating and trying to fix what wasn't hidable. My closet began to consist of mostly black, boyfriend jeans, & very flowy tops. Don't even get me started on the struggle to find pants and shorts that fit a butt like this on a girl that's 5'1". You could say I've got a little junk in my trunk. Every where you looked the girls were a size 0 (or smaller), tight little stomachs, lean, long legs. Everything I will never be.

It's just not possible. No where in my genetic make up is there a code for "tiny". Trust me, I've tried to find it. But I mean, look at Hollywood. My childhood was spent "looking up" to the likes of Britney Spears (5'4", 110 pounds), Angelina Jolie (5'8", 120 pounds), and Jennifer Aniston (5"6", 110 pounds). The celebrities of our time were tall waifs, and I wanted that so bad.

Hollywood over the last couple of years seems to have become a tiny bit more accepting of the women who have a little junk in the trunk. Christina Hendricks burst onto the scene in Mad Men, Kim Kardashian shot up in fame {no one's really sure why yet...}, Jessica Simpson took a bunch of flack for a pair of jeans, but shrugged off the criticism with what is now one of my favorite quotes:

"Please remember, no matter what you go through in life, somebody else might have it harder. So just appreciate. I feel like in our world today we focus on so many things that are completely pointless." 
{She's not always the brightest, but right on, girl!}

Boobs and a butt became attractive again.

Here's the conundrum. Think about those three women .What do you think? Sexy. Provocative. Hott. These girls have the goods, and they're going to let everyone know they've got 'em. Part of me really wants to digress on their behaf and talk about the woes of struggling to be modest with that body type, but there's just really no excuse. I'm pretty sure every single one of these women have been quoted as saying
"If you've got it, flaunt it." {I checked. They have.}

Okay. So these are the two choices presented to girls of my figure by the world:
  • Hate my body because it will never fit into size 0 jeans.
  • "Own" what I've got and let the whole world see it.
Neither are attractive options for me. I'm sick of wanting what I won't ever have and hating what I've been given. Those days are over. To me, the idea is to be confident and comfortable in your own skin. Whether you're size 0 or size 16 isn't what's important, it's where you heart is about it. It's about not spending all your time wishing you looked a different way, or all your energy trying to. It's about being able to dance around in your underwear in your room and feel like the sexiest girl in the world.
Okay. Clearly the world's not going to be much help on this subject (I mean, when is it ever, about anything?). Let's be smart and turn to the only thing that can help a girl make it in this messed-up world. The Truth. I did some digging, and the Bible says way more about body image and modesty then you'd initally think.
"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
-Proverbs 31:30
{Most. Quoted. Verse. Ever. Ok maybe not, but I feel like it loses some of it's power. That is

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
 -1 Corinthians 6:19-20
{Take care of the body the Lord has lent you, because the reality is, it's not your's.}

Boom. Truth. And that's not even scratching the surface of what's out there. I also really love this quote by J.K Rowling, because it's true, aaaand because it points back to Harry Potter
"I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny - a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons. Let them never be stupid girls." – J.K. Rowling
I'm built the way I am on purpose. And to be honest, for the first time in 22 years, I love it.

Love it.

PS This is craziness.


Elizabeth Randon said...

I love you and I love this, especially J.K. Rowling's quote. You must have ESP; I needed to hear this today. I've been really, really hating myself lately for not having a body that fits my ultimate ideal, but honestly it's because I've been prioritizing happy, clever, restful, and successful first. Thank you for reminding me that's okay.

Blake said...

:) I'm so glad this hit where it needed to. Love you. And your sexy bod.