This blog has become a place for me to hash out the things I'm learning. A place for me to record the process of becoming fearless. This last week has been some of the biggest learning moments of my evolution.
I like change, I always have. As a kid I would rearrange my bedroom as often as my parents would let me because I loved the feeling of walking into a "new" room. As I've started to grow and experience God changing who I am, I love it more then a new room.
Change isn't effortless, that's for sure. Pushing my huge bed and drawers and nightstand around my room as a tiny 11 year old girl was never an easy feat, but in the end the work and the sweat and the stubbed toes was always worth the feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction as I looked at my new and improved room.
This time of change in my life hasn't been easy. I'm having to learn what humility really means, which can be really confusing. What relying on God really means, even when I'm scared to death about what's in store. What letting people really be there for you means, even when it goes against everything inside of me. I've had to learn the hard way that my plan is not God's plan, but that He always knows better. I've had to loosen my death grip on a year and a half long relationship and let God be in control. I've had to acknowledge that things weren't working and throw myself head first into God's plan.
Trust (n) -reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
I have confidence that God has the integrity, strength, ability, surety, and desire to carry me through this, and that He is. That He's not surprised or shocked, and that He knows what He's doing.
And that is where I find peace and happiness and joy unending.
I am loving life. I am loving having the most genuine, true friends I've had in my life. I'm loving finding myself again, and the things God shows me everyday. I am loving being spontaneous and weird and all over the place.
I am loving being