I woke up gloomy today. I was convinced it was a glich when my alarm went off because the sun wasn't streaming in my window as usual. And I'd had weird dreams about stuff I don't even want to think about. My heart was just heavy. I read through July 6th of My Utmost for His Highest {which I'm loving}, and it offered some really great insight into things I hadn't thought about it a while. But as I plodded away at my work I just felt...funky. And no amount of listening to Train's Marry Me on repeat {which unexplainably makes me very happy} was fixing it.
I skipped the normal sandwhich in the kitchen for lunch and drove to Starbucks and started journaling. Always helps. Things just click into place when I force myself to sit, stop, and talk to God. A lot of the things that were bothering me were silly, some were legitimate. As I was finishing up, some lyrics to my favorite Needtobreathe song came to mind.
Cause if you're not laughing, who is laughing now? I've been wondering if we stop sinking, could we stand our ground?
-The Outsiders
Now look, I don't think that we as Christians are called to slap a stupid smile on everyday and act like everything's hunky dory 24/7. It pisses me off when people do that {or when I do it. guilty.} But I do think that we're supposed to live life like our source of joy is the unchanging, unmoving, always-faithful Creator of the Universe.
So yeah, there's a couple of hard things I'm working through with God at the moment. And yeah, there's a possiibilty I'll wake up tomorrow and feel just as funky as I did today. But it doesn't mean I have to let those emotions dictate what I believe to be true. And it doesn't man I don't have the ability to turn it around and be the light I always hope to be. Get me?
That is all. Please excuse me, Marry Me is on the radio :)
You wear white and I'll wear out the words
I love you, and you're beautiful.
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