Let me first say, I am a skeptic. I'm a skeptic about writing things about myself that anyone and everyone can read. But I am changing. I am learning how to be vulnerable with people outside of my inner circle for the first time in a very long time.
You know those moments when God slaps you upside the head with something? Usually something that's been right in front of your face for a very long time. There's this sweet mix of the sadness that you didn't see this sooner, and that now this massive thing in yourself is looming in front of you, waiting for you to tackle it. But there's also hope and excitement found in your faith that these are things God intends to break and then heal in you, making you more like the person He wants you to be.
God slapped me hard today. In the most loving way possible, of course. And while it was momentarily disheartening to come to grips with the lies and false realities I've been living in, the moment passed quickly. And now, here I am. Here I am, standing in front of a very daunting wall that I have built and spend the last few years bashing my head into. I would be silly to believe that I can instantaneously bull doze through said wall and be the person I am striving to be. But I do believe that between God and I, we can take the wall down brick by brick.
But here I am. And here we go. This is going to be a journey.