1/21/10

PerfectPerfectPerfect

I clearly had no idea what I was getting myself into when I decided to go into this thing with God. I'm still clueless as to what to expect, but I can tell you what I didn't expect. For the process of taking down walls to be this difficult already. But I guess what's what you get when you've been living behind them for so long.
Perfect. What does that word even mean?! Webster defined it as conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type, entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings. Um, explain to me again why that's something I've so desperately needed to be for all this time? That sounds....awful. My favorite part of Webster's definition is that he uses the word "conform". Isn't there something in the Bible about that being bad? (Romans 12:2, anyone?)
It's time to be real. To stop fearing that everyone is going to think the real Blake is a paininthebuttgetoutofmyfaceidiot. To stop buying into the Deceiver's lies that no one, and I mean no one values me. To start living in the truth that I am loved and treasured by the people around me, and that even if I'm not, I am by Christ, and in the end that's all that matters. It's time to stop picking apart every inch of me and conforming it to what I think people want me to be.
My roommate snapped this picture of me at a football game last season. I won't lie, I immediately hated it. I was unprepared, and all I could see when I looked at it was rolls and wrinkles and my weird smile. But when I take a step back and shake off as much of my perfectionist nature as possible, I actually kind of love this picture. My guard is down. I was laughing pretty hard (I'm sure at Alex). I'm not posed and grinning. I'm enjoying life. And unfortunately, that had become a rarity for me.
Hi, I'm Blake, and I'm a recovering perfectionist/faker. I do not even remotely have it all together. But I am
Fearless.

1 comment:

michelle4jc said...

Thanks for sharing Blake. I feel like I know you a lil bit more...and you are treasured by me but as you said most importantly, by Christ. =) See you tonight!